The Power of Paradox: my Experience in Leadership

When I mentor leaders, I am often asked about my experience as a woman in leadership, especially my leadership style. Yesterday, on my way back from Brisbane, I finally found some time to pause and reflect on this question. So here are some scattered thoughts.

I began my reflection by considering the numerous comments I have received over the years to describe me: hard to read, straight talker, decisive, empathetic, authentic, soft-spoken, trustworthy, never afraid of confrontations, shy, a protector, disciplined, busy, able to compromise, resilient, compassionate, stubborn, creative, task-focused and more. These examples of descriptors paint a tapestry of seemingly contradictory traits, yet they all define me.

In my experience, true leadership power lies not in resolving these contradictions but in embracing them. Navigating paradoxes—managing seemingly opposing forces—has proven to be a unique strength rather than a challenge to overcome. This approach opens new pathways to self-awareness and unlocks untapped potential.

For instance, when managing teams, I often felt the tension between being assertive yet nurturing, decisive yet adaptable, and strong yet empathetic. Instead of viewing these dualities as conflicting forces, I learned to balance them, reframing them as complementary strengths that enhance my leadership.

I reminded myself of the fundamental framework of leadership: the leader, the situation, and the follower. Reflecting on this, I recognised the importance of adapting my leadership style depending on the situation and the needs of those I was leading. This perspective allowed me to flexibly apply different qualities and attributes, making me more adaptable to what I call the twilight zone of change.

I found that leading with authenticity (and honesty) means embracing both sides of these paradoxes to enrich my leadership style at any given moment. I can be assertive and command authority in high-stakes decisions while also nurturing my team with empathy and understanding. The result is a leadership approach that embodies both strength and connection, enabling me to navigate complexity with grace and purpose.

Many situations have demanded a combination of intuition and empathy alongside strategic thinking and decisiveness. These traits are not mutually exclusive. Intuition and emotional intelligence—often regarded as "soft skills"—can coexist with resilience and strategic decision-making, leading to well-rounded, impactful solutions not only for the problem at hand but also for all those involved.

When I reflect on times when I had to demonstrate resilience in the face of challenges -way too many times- I remember that picking myself up was often about having both heart and determination while also being gentle and forgiving with myself. Balancing the head and the heart is essential for fostering deeper connections while maintaining clarity and focus in achieving common objectives.

Leadership, I believe, is not a solo pursuit. It’s about collective success. Empowering others does not weaken one's position; rather, it strengthens the collective, resulting in more sustainable outcomes.

Over the years, I’ve redefined my metrics for success to include personal growth, team well-being, and societal impact as key measures of achievement, rather than just traditional metrics like profit and productivity.

To conclude these scattered thoughts, balancing paradoxes is more than just a skill—it is a way to stay true to oneself, embracing all the attributes that make us uniquely who we are. Embracing and loving myself for exactly who I am and who I have become is my greatest success.